Knowing which lube goes with what kind of toy material can be confusing and not as straightforward as it may seem. If you’re not around sex toys all the time it can also be hard to remember exactly which one of your toys is made of what and what lube to use with it. Additionally, some toy companies are not very honest about what ingredients they use in their toys. Therefore it is always recommended that you do a patch test with your lube to see if your toy is reactive to it. This guide will take you through the steps of doing exactly that.
How to Patch Test Lube:
The adult toy and lube industry is not very regulated, so it is hard to know for sure if products contain the ingredients they say that they do. On top of that there are some ingredients in lube that don’t agree with certain kinds of toy materials. Not to mention that your body is as unique as you are and not every ingredient is going to agree with your body. So before jumping head first into using a new toy and lube together and running the risk of ruining said new toy or ruining your experience, I recommend doing a patch test.
Patch Test on Toys:
- Choose an inconspicuous part of the toy, if possible a part that won’t be in contact with your skin very much, like the base of the toy or the handle area.
- Apply a small amount of lube in this area, literally a drop onto the product.
- Let it sit for five to ten minutes, shorter if you start to see signs of the material degrading.
- Wipe the lube off with a wet towel and check the surface for any changes in the material.
- Changes in material being: bloating, swelling, rippling, and/or flaking
- A great way to see if the material is degrading is to press your finger in the area where the lube was and see if a depression is left or your fingerprint is left in the material.
- If the material is unaffected then proceed to enjoying your toy with this lube.
- If the material is showing signs of degrading it is best not to use that lube on that toy. Depending on the kind of toy you could cover it with a condom and protect it from the lube and have a win-win scenario.
Patch Test on Skin:
- Choose a discreet and easy to access bit of skin, like the inside of your forearm or elbow.
- Apply a small amount of lube to this area and rub it in.
- Monitor your skin for at least ten minutes and remove immediately if you start having any reaction.
- Some people recommend leaving it on for hours to test for reactivity. I think this all depends on you and your experience with your skin. I have relatively sensitive skin and my skin reacts almost immediately to ingredients that don’t work for me.
- If you experience any reactions to the lube, then that lube is not meant for you. Worry not, there are plenty of lubes out there waiting for you. Might I recommend this article to help you find another one to try!
How to Patch Test – The Philosophy
I also want to tell you about my philosophy of patch testing in the bedroom. It may seem like a stretch to refer to patch testing as a life lesson, but stick with me. My favorite bit of advice to give anyone looking at trying a new lube, toy, position, or kink is to start small or “patch test.” Patch test that new lube, test out a new position or mindfully try a new toy.
Easily the most asked question I get from people wanting to explore something new in their sex life is where to start. This isn’t an easy question to answer because everyone’s starting line is placed somewhere different. There are a multitude of places to begin when it comes to exploring sensations and products in the bedroom.
For someone like me the starting line tends to always be in learning first. I like to know about something before I try it, I like to research. If you’re not much on the research side of things that’s okay, your starting line might be at the question of “what am I interested in trying?” This is a very important thing to ask yourself before you get started. What is piquing your interest right now? Lingerie? Toys? Role playing?
After you figure out what you’re interested in exploring, find the very first step to that thing. For example if you’re interested in trying a vibrating toy for the first time, the first step could be researching different kinds of vibrators or going to your local shop and purchasing a beginner friendly vibe. This is the step where I remind myself (and now you) not to get too ahead of myself and start slow. We’re testing out things not diving head first into the deep end.
I can’t stress enough how important the next part is. Time to try it. Try something new. Be smart about how you try different things and make sure you know the risks, but at the very least try something. A lot of what holds us back from having better experiences in the bedroom is not wanting to try or being scared that we won’t like something. In reality being open to something not working is the best way to find things that do work.
I have also found that relationships benefit greatly from mutual experimenting and being open to talking about likes and dislikes. Trying something new allows for practice in regards to how you communicate when something is enjoyable and when it isn’t as enjoyable as we had hoped. The fun of it is less about the outcome and more about the testing and the curiosity.
Here’s some tips:
- Start small. This is as much in regards to physical things like the size of sex toys as it is to non-physical things.
- For example: Start small exploring impact play with spanking before investing in a paddle or other impact tools.
- Don’t push yourself to get positive results. The point in testing anything is to find out if it works for you or not. If it doesn’t work for you it doesn’t work for you and now you know.
- If you’re trying something with a partner, plan ahead of time how to communicate in the moment if something is working or not working. I personally love to recommend the traffic light system to any new experience. It is a great way to communicate stop (red), slow down but proceed with caution (yellow) or keep going (green) while testing something new, even something that seems small like a new position.
- Bonus suggestion: discuss ahead of experimenting how you want to handle/communicate around the possibility of the outcome of a test being that one partner enjoyed it and one did not. This is a natural outcome that isn’t anyone’s fault and it is best to approach it with a sense of curiosity and not shame.
In conclusion, I hope you go forth and try out tons of things in the bedroom! Allow yourself the space to enjoy and not enjoy new things. You can always return to the things you’ve always enjoyed even when you’ve found something new and fun to do. It is okay to like what works for you and to dislike what doesn’t work for you. Be safe in your adventures and at the very least, patch test your lubricants on your toys before using them.
